If this isn't the ultimate '70s-excess-meets-'90s-hipper-than-thou-slackerness, I don't know what is.
I already have a slogan: "I wanna rock 'n' roll all night / and get wired ev-er-y day!
What a perfect combo. The most capitalistic American band of the past quarter century, joined with the most popular American beverage that can be made in a coffeemaker.
U-S-A!
Kiss, unlike many rock acts of its time, never claimed "artistic integrity." No, Kiss sold out almost from the beginning. The corporate wonks wasted no time turning the beloved theatrical unit into action
figures and lunchbox fodder. Gene Simmons still brags about how they didn't balk at making a ton of cash and how lame he thought Emerson, Lake and Palmer was.
Still, this little business venture shows how far things have come — or how far they haven't, or something. Thirty years ago, during the bicentennial, Kiss percolated some rich, aromatic rock 'n' roll.
Back then, pop music was pop music, and Taster's Choice was Taster's Choice.
What happened?
I can't answer that.
Bottom line, this is a fitting collaboration, and maybe it's just the perfect commercial caffeine for both rock 'n' roll and the coffeehouse industry.
Just as Kiss wasn't any fun after they dropped the makeup, espresso was never as cool after Starbucks opened up shop in the middle of Kiddieland at McDonald's.
As a former Kiss fanatic, and as a consumer of between five and 73 cups of coffee each day, I think this is grounds for celebration. If nothing else, you gotta love the names they chose for their products: the
menu includes "French Kiss Vanilla" and "Rockuccino."
Lick it up!
The story goes beyond that. It presents a strange geographical and historical twist. Kiss Coffeehouse
(perhaps the first java shop name sans any coffee wordplay) is in Myrtle Beach, S.C. That's about as far away from Seattle as you can get (not counting Georgia and Florida). This is significant because two of
the three things most commonly associated with Seattle over the past decade are rock 'n' roll and coffee (the third is, of course, all that precipitation).
You'd think Kiss would've glommed onto the market in the Pacific Northwest, instead of the Atlantic Southeast.
Do you think it's because they didn't want the competition?
I can't answer that.
